Can people seriously not see why the whole “I’m not attracted to black people” concept is racist
Like, okay, nobody’s denying you your right to have preferences, but:
Your preferences are not immune to being racist, and
There is no reason other than racism for your preference to unilaterally rule out everyone of a specific race
Like, I dare you to come up with an answer to “what is it about black people you aren’t attracted to” that isn’t racist? What is the thing that all black people have, that nobody other than black people has, that’s a dealbreaker for you?
I’ll give you a hint: If your answer to that question implies that there is something both universal and exclusive to black people other than “they are black,” then that’s what we call a “racial stereotype” which is kind of textbook racist, and if your answer to “what is it about black people you aren’t attracted to” was “they are black,” then I’m not really sure what further explanation you need beyond the fact that you just said the thing you don’t like about black people is that they’re black.
Like, I get that you might prefer some physical characteristics over others, and whatever, that’s a different conversation for a different post, but just say that. There is no characteristic, physical or otherwise, that is universal or exclusive to any one race. If you met someone who had every trait you find attractive in a person, and was black, and you still ruled them out because they were black, then yes, that is racist.
Stop throwing up a “you can’t find everyone attractive” argument because you are fighting against the scarecrow version of the argument everyone else is actually making. No one is saying you can, or should, find everyone attractive. Nobody wants you to find everyone attractive. That would be exhausting for everyone involved.
What people do want is for you to stop saying you like one race less than all the others and then pretend anyone who calls you out on your racism is just shaming your preferences. Your preferences are racist, which means they don’t need anyone else’s help to be shameful.
And yes, by saying “I don’t find black people attractive,” you are saying you like black people less than everyone else, because you like everyone else enough that you’re attracted to them on a case-by-case basis, but all you need to hear is “black” and they’re not even an option.
I’ve heard a lot of people ask this before. I want to try to address a few points surrounding the question.
There is no one way to “look like a woman”. The absence of femininity does not equal masculinity, and much femininity that women practice - e.g. vaginal douching, censoring ourselves to appear subservient - is only done so because of the male gaze. As lesbians do not want to receive said gaze (outside of being socialised to), the practice of femininity is arguably not needed. Some lesbians are brave enough abandon it as a result.
Looking butch has become a lesbian identifier, possibly because of reasons outlined above. In my experience as a lesbian woman it’s been beyond refreshing to be able to meet other women who openly express their lesbianism through the way they dress or act. It’s a way to know you’re interacting with a like-minded woman without having to ask potentially awkward questions.
Men are not necessarily masculine, so looking masculine is not necessarily “male”. Gender non-conforming men also exist, as do men who look feminine. If not all men are what we would perceive as “manly”, can we say butch women look like men as a result?
Femininity is oppressive. As women we have femininity forced upon us from birth. This can be incredibly stifling, as it isn’t just our appearances that are policed by societal expectations of femininity. We are expected to love men, to act dumber, smaller; to fulfil our role of being the weaker class. Unsurprisingly, many lesbians want to break free from this weight on their shoulders.
…And you’re asking a ridiculous question. Would you be asking the same thing of a straight couple involving a feminine man or a masculine woman? No? Think about why you’re asking it, then. Are T-shirts inherently “masculine”, or are they just pieces of clothing? Why do you feel the right to ask such personal questions of us?
The butch/femme dynamic is integral to lesbian identity and history and we have absolutely no reason to justify it to you.